MMMM…meditation. My nemesis.
Whenever I read a list of wellness habits, I gleefully check off items I practice habitually. Until enviably I land on meditation. I have sporadically meditated over the years, but it has never become an atomic habit. So, I decided to take on a meditation challenge with the goal of ten minutes of meditation a day.
Let me tell you, there is no more surefire way to get your family to come find you than to try to meditate for a few minutes. That being said I have mostly managed to keep on task with my goal. I was struck by how active my mind is these days. It feels like it is running faster than it ever has. In a lot of ways, I like this. I have more that I am excited to think about and do than I ever have had in my life. Yet at the same time, I recognize that I struggle to be able to turn off that activity. I think I enjoy activities that require a singular focus because it allows me to turn off a lot of the mental noise.
Within ten minutes, I probably only have a few moments where I can truly focus on just my breath. Most of the time is spent bringing my focus back. I feel like I have gotten an inkling of the benefits that a more dedicated meditation practice can provide. When I started the challenge, I thought I would suffer through it, write something about it, and then move on. Now, I’m not sure. I don’t know if I will ever become a consistent meditator, but I see the value in forcing myself to do it periodically.
I find it hard to imagine the titans of industry sitting criss-cross apple sauce in meditation before they go off to run the world. But perhaps they actually do. Ten minutes of meditation has helped to balance my highly caffeinated days of striving to accomplish as much as possible. It has given me more appreciation and empathy for the work it takes to establish new healthy habits. I sit in agitation waiting for the timer to sound bringing both relief but also sadness that my time to just be is over.